They say change is the only constant in life.

I won’t beg to differ.

With so many options and opportunities i’m thankful for, what is it that’s holding me back from taking a leap of faith?

Could the grass really be greener on the other side?
Will I be better on the other side?
Is it an opportunity to grow? And if yes, is it the right growth in the right direction i’m seeking?
What will I lose if I make a change? What will I gain?
Will it refresh my life? Or drag it down into a consuming routine?
Is it time to leave a comfort zone that I became so familiar and accustomed to?
And at the end of the day, will it all be worth it?
All these questions and countless more are boiling in my head and bringing me and Insomnia closer to being very good friends!

With the prospect of change ahead, I realize that, it’s true, some things never change…
When I was 17, I was bound to leave the country to study in Paris. Everything was set and ready… Acceptance letter from the university I chose, down payment for the dorms, to-do list before I leave almost entirely done… But I “chicken-ed” out at last minute (Less than a  month before I leave) and I let the smallest of fears and worries keep me in Lebanon. The change ahead at that period of my life was so overwhelming  that I opted for a smaller one: instead of leaving the security of my parents’ home for a different country, France,  I only left it for a new city, Beirut.

The immediate consequences of that choice were sore regret and getting stuck in a loop that drained me for years before I was able to find an exit. On the long run, and after 8 years, that decision doesn’t seem half bad! I guess it’s thanks to the amazing/fantastic/beautiful people in my life today, who I wouldn’t have met had I left to Paris 8 years ago…
What do I learn from my personal experience dealing with change?
Apparently nothing.
The decision to stay in Lebanon was regrettable up until something good came along.
Does this mean if I don’t take the risk and make a change, will I be regretting it for years to come, up until something good comes along? Am I really willing to go through that scenario again, even if on a different level?
The answer I have for all the above is an “I Don’t Know”!
But the clock is ticking, and the “I Don’t Know” will not be much of a help when decision time comes.
What should I do then?
Since I function well under pressure, should I wait until the time comes to make up my mind? I do that almost every time i’m in a restaurant and I don’t figure out what to order until the waiter is standing up behind my shoulder waiting for me to say what I want.
If it works well when dining out, could last-minute-on-the-spot decisions work as well for LIFE?

Your thoughts = much appreciated!

Find me on twitter @fadyroumieh

This entry was posted in General Bleugging, Opinionated and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Changes

  1. BeirutBoy says:

    What I’ve learned is that everything happens for a reason.
    Whatever is the path you decide to take…I believe it WILL lead you to what you want to become.
    (And that thing about ordering from the menu under pressure …that’s so me)

  2. A Bare Truth says:

    sometimes taking a decision to change the course of ur life is like flipping a coin, whatever your expectations are, the unexpected happens whether good or bad. It is always an experience we learn and evolve from

  3. Danielle says:

    Chhhhhhh Changes! If something is calling you in the right direction, GO FOR IT AND DON’T LOOK BACK! Don’t dwell on the past (Paris) just look toward the future and the options you have here and now! And think of all of the amazing people in your life (ehhhhhhemm MOI) and how we will support you on the way. Take a risk, do something wild, and crazy, and totally out of character (kind of like my move to Beirut)..and you will be so happy you did!

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